Early Sunday morning I awoke in my hospital bed to bright red bleeding much like the week prior. I was really surprised because for 2 days I had virtually no spotting and was just losing the usual amniotic fluid all week. The nurses immediately put me on the monitor so we could check baby's heartbeat and contractions. That morning lasted forever. They wouldn't let me eat or drink anything until the doctors assessed the situation. By noon I was passing clots and my contractions were 1-2 minutes apart. I was so scared. I did a lot of crying and my anxiety level was through the roof. The high risk OB came in and told me that after looking at my chart, the contractions and the baby's heart rate it was going to be "birthday time." Within an hour I was prepped and wheeled off to the operating room for my C-section at 29 weeks 5 days.
I didn't get a choice as to how my birth plan would go. That was decided for me when my waterbag ruptured on April 20th. Because she was breech and there wasn't much fluid left a C section was the only option. I didn't really know what I wanted until the option was taken away from me but I really didn' think at the time I would have been able to push and go through hours of labor after all of the stress I had been through in the days leading up to the birth of our daughter.
They brought me in to the operating room and when they had me turn around to get on the operating table I saw the incubator in the corner and totally lost it. I was crying so hard because I was so scared. Scared for the operation, scared for my daughter's safety, just scared of the entire situation. Here it was, April 29th and I wasn't due until July 10th!
The staff in the operating room were amazing. I don't know how I would have survived without their support and sense of calmness. Of course they were calm, they do this everyday!
After the epidural was put in I finally calmed down. Maybe it was the anticipation of the needle in my back that sent me into panic mode but once that was done and they brought my husband in I finally calmed down. I'm so glad they didn't tell me when they were starting. I am amazed at the pictures my husband took of my open belly and of our daughter coming into the world. They are truly amazing although I obviously won't be posting them on here or on Facebook. (LOL)
They pulled our daughter out and I started to panic because she wasn't crying. Then about 2 seconds later I heard a big wail and I watched as they lifted her over the sheet for my husband and I to see. Livie Marie Watson was born at 2:54pm on April 29th 2012 weighing 2 pounds 4 ounces.
They whisked her off to the NICU team in the corner of the operating room and my husband got to cut the cord. After that everything was pretty much a blur. They were stitching me up and sending me to recovery. The meds they gave me made me so groggy that I barely remember being in the recovery room let alone being there for 2 hours.
Once it was time to go to my room they brought us to the nurse's desk to push the lullaby button. This is the button the entire hospital hears when a baby is born and finally, after 7 1/2 years, we got to push it. I'm really excited because we have it all on video.
My birth experience was pretty frightening but when I look at our baby girl I am still amazed that she is here and that , after 8 pregnancy losses I finally did it. Although I didn't carry a pregnancy to term I got pretty close and I finally gave birth. Livie is our second miracle baby (Kayla of course being our first through adoption). I pray she gets to come home from the NICU soon and we can be home together as a family.
I've learned a lot from this experience. The love for my husband and my 2 daughters is that much stronger. I will no longer take the simple things for granted. The support and love from my family and friends has truly been amazing. I know that I really am blessed and continue to trust that God will complete this journey with a happy ending.
