The Empty Picture Frame

I've been feeling really depressed lately.  Maybe it is my 7th loss on 5-5-10, or that everyone who was pregnant the same time I was had their babies this month when I was pregnant with number 6.(the 2nd pregnancy we lost after seeing the heartbeat in Oct 2009).  Maybe it is because some of my friends are pregnant or  because a friend of mine just had a miscarriage.  Maybe it is a combination of all of these. I don't know. 

Anyways, a friend of mine sent me this book titled "The Empty Picture Frame" by Jenna Currier Nadeau. I have had it sitting at my desk since it arrived a couple of weeks ago and just haven't felt up to reading it.  Today I decided to open it up and read the Preface.  It was a very good read but I found myself getting very emotional.  I don't think I am ready to sit down and read it yet. I have a feeling it is going to open up old wounds that I'm not ready to feel again yet. The good news is that while the story itself doesn't have a happy ending after the book was published the author did  fulfill her dream of having a family.  She has 1 child through adoption and carried 1 child to term and gave birth.  So that does give me hope. 

I guess right now I am just a big mixed ball of emotions.  I'm exhausted with this multiple miscarriage journey and the constant fight to carry a pregnancy to term.  Still I am heading to acupuncture again tomorrow to try put my body back into balance. I guess I'm still willing to give it another try once I am given the "green light" from my acupuncturist which will probably be in about 2-3 months.  I need to take advantage of this break and enjoy not having to stress about TTC. (trying to conceive).  If you would like to learn more about this book below is the link to Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/Empty-Picture-Frame-Inconceivable-Infertility/dp/1432705962

About the Author


Jenna and Mike Nadeau have struggled with infertility since shortly after they were married in 2002. Jenna is a current volunteer for RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. She has appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show as well as The Today Show to discuss their experiences. Together, Jenna and her husband have written The Empty Picture Frame as a way to share their journey and educate others.

First comes Love, then comes Marriage, then comes.....

Everyone knows the song:

A boy and a girl sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G
First comes love
Then comes marriage
Then comes miscarriage after miscarriage after miscarriage.

Wait- that isn't how it goes is it?
But that is how it went for me.

When you hear of someone losing a baby you often think- well, it was a fluke. They can try again. And for most the next time around will have a happy ending and all will be well. In fact, miscarriage is actually quite common. What isn't common however, is 8 losses in a row.

So here is my story.

FIRST CAME LOVE: It all started after I met the man of my dreams in 2002. He was amazing. Everything I had ever dreamed of. I had never met someone so unselfish in my life. I had snagged the most generous guy out there and he was all mine.

THEN COMES MARRIAGE: We dated for 3 years and he proposed the day we got our keys to our first house. In October of 2005 we had our dream wedding. It was like a fairytale come true. The weather was perfect, the bridesmaids looks stunning and the groomsmen looked handsome. We celebrated the night surronded by our family and friends.

THEN COMES.......