"Life is full of winding roads. It's up to you to choose. The flat lands may be easier to take but the hills... they have more views."
Today I went and saw a new therapist that specializes in helping those cope with pregnancy loss. She got me thinking about a lot of things. How I can feel 2 different things at the same time. Like when a friend tells me she is pregnant. It's okay to feel happy for her but also sad or jealous because I want that too. The whole fertility journey is filled with mixed emotions and all sorts of feelings happening at the same time. She had a good point, when I do carry to term and give birth I am still going to have a mixture of feelings. I will probably never get over my losses but it will get easier.
I did a lot of crying and got a lot off my chest . I go again in 2 weeks. I really liked her office. In the bathroom she had all sorts of pictures with quotes on them. The quote above is one that stood out to me so I took a picture of it with my phone so I would remember it.
Today I felt extra excited to pick Kayla up from daycare. I know how lucky and blessed I am to have her but today I felt it even more. I need to focus on the wonderful things I do have instead of the things I don't. I know I know easier said than done.
Tomorrow is acupuncture. Have to go pick up more wheatgrass too. Ugh, sometimes this whole thing is so exhausting but I still have to keep pushing forward.