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Saturday, April 28, 2012

29 Weeks 4 Days -Day 8 on Hospital Bedrest

Today I'm having a good day.  I'm 29 weeks 4 days and had a great night sleep which I haven't had in forever.  I get a shower today and a ride down to the gift shop with my husband.  My goal today is to really push the fluids and eat a lot.  They want me to fatten up a bit since I lost 3-4 pounds since I was admitted last Friday. 

I had a total meltdown yesterday because it took the food service people 2 1/2 hours to get me my food.  It took me calling them in tears to get it up here.  I hate feeling so helpless.  Wish I could get up and go to the kitchen and get it myself! I was so frustrated because they expressed concerned about my weight but I couldn't get access to the food to gain it.  The supervisor came up with a huge basket of food to apologize.  They now are sending up a fruit plate with cheese everyday at 10am, an Ensure pudding at 2pm and an Ensure drink at 8pm to help me put on some pounds.
I'm excited my hubby brought in the lap top so I can skype and do my blogging.  The iPad makes it really hard to type.  I had a good day hanging out with our daughter last night.  We read books, watched her shows on Netflix, and we even put a castle tent up in my room with blankets so it feels more like home for her. 

I just got off the monitor and Livie is sounding great.  Nice strong heartbeat.  I've started putting the speaker from my bed remote for the TV up to my belly so she can listen to music.  She likes Country so she is already an AZ gal at heart.  That and the music channel here always seems to play Toby Keith so I don't really have much of a choice. 

I am finding that I need to keep small goals because if I look at the big picture I get overwhelmed and scared.  It's hard not to get intimidated.  I stare out the window and get so jealous of the people riding their bikes and walking their dogs.   Everytime that Disneyland commerical comes on with the "Good Life" song playing it makes me sad.  I would love to be on a Disney vacation right now. (sign- maybe next year)  I know after this experience I will never take those things for granted ever again.  I have a huge desire to go to the lake and go swimming right now.  Just to put my feet in the water would be refreshing.

It's amazing the little things you long for when they are taken away from you but I am so thankful for our little Livie.  Praying she says put with a healthy strong heartbeat as long as possible.

Friday, April 27, 2012

Really Needed This Today.........

Checked my email and here is today's Joel Osteen reading.

Really needed this today. 

He Will Complete It
“And David said to his son Solomon, ‘Be strong and of good courage, and do it; do not fear nor be dismayed, for the LORD God — my God — will be with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you, until you have finished all the work for the service of the house of the LORD’ ”
(1 Chronicles 28:20, NKJV)
TODAY’S WORD from Joel and Victoria
Is there something you’ve been believing for, something you’ve been hoping for that’s taking longer than you expected? You might be tempted to just accept things the way they are. You might be tempted to think it’s never going to happen. If that’s you today, be encouraged because God is a finisher! He will complete what He’s started in you!
Your part is to believe. Your part is to keep your eyes on Him. When you believe, you have the Creator of the universe fighting your battles, arranging things in your favor, going before you, moving the wrong people out of the way. Don’t be intimidated by the size of a problem or the size of your dream! Don’t let circumstances convince you to stop believing. “Jehovah Jireh, the Lord our Provider, is still on the throne. One touch of God’s favor and you’ll go from barely getting by to having more than enough! Begin to thank Him and declare that God is at work. Declare that He is perfecting what concerns you. Declare that He will complete everything He’s started in your life!
Father God, I thank You for completing every good work that You have started in my life. I choose to believe Your Word, even when things look impossible. I choose to believe that You are working behind the scenes and that You will bring victory and breakthrough to every area of my life in Jesus’ name! Amen.
— Joel & Victoria Osteen

29 weeks 3 days- Day 7 on Hospital Bedrest

Today started out with an ultrasound to check the fluid. The docs haven't come in to talk to me yet but the nurse said it was a little lower than last week. Livie's heart rate was 165 this morning and she did great during monitoring.

Yesterday I had a ton of hospital staff come to visit me. They are concerned with my weight loss since I have was admitted last Friday so they had a dietitian come in. They arranged for me to receive replacement drinks and snacks between my meals but today nothing has showed up. I've called twice and I guess they forgot about me. I'm a little annoyed because it's not like I can get up and go to the kitchen myself and get something to eat. I loaded up on breakfast but by 10:30 I was hungry again. It's 12:20pm and I am still waiting for food. I need to have my husband bring in some snacks.

Today I'm feeling really lonely. Haven't had any visitors today and there isn't anyone to take me on my 30 min wheelchair ride :( I haven't been outside since Monday and that wasn't enjoyable because I received some bad news from work which I will not go into right now. I did get a nice call from my boss's sister who was on bedrest with triplets for 4 months and she had encouraging things to say. It really helped to talk to her since she has been in my shoes. Her triplets were born at 32 weeks and they will turn 8 in May.

Feeling frustrated today. It's hard watching the world go on outside your window when you are stuckin bed. I just want to go for a run outside and take my daughter to the park.

Once I have more to update I will write.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

28 weeks 3 days- Preterm Premature Rupture Membranes

Finally I got into my blog! I have had the hardest time accessing the account.  So I owe a huge update to everyone so here goes.

This may be TMI (just a warning)
Friday morning, April 20th, I woke up to a huge gush of fluid.  It felt like I peed in my pants. I looked down and there was blood everywhere.  I ran to the bathroom and had blood going down my legs.  My husband and I quickly grabbed our daughter and headed to Labor and Delivery.  There they immediately put me on the monitor and listened to baby.  She was doing well.  They gave me an ultrasound and checked my fluid.  It was very very low but the umbilical dopplers and blood flow looked good which was a relief.  My water bag had ruptured and the baby was breech. Our little girl was weighing 2 pounds 5 ounces according to the ultrasound.

Then the painful procedures started.  The IV was placed (which I am used to) but then they put a catheter in.  I have never cried so loud and hard in my life!  They wanted to monitor my urine output to make sure there wasn't protein to check for pre- eclampsia. Because I was bleeding so much they had no other choice but to use a catheter.  They then wheeled me to my own room and instructed me to stay on complete bed rest.

I was given my first round of steroid shots for our baby's lungs and IV fluid and antibiotics were given.  The first day and night was awful.  I felt anchored down on every aspect of my body.  My legs were hooked to compression socks, my arm had an IV, the catheter was in, the pulsometer on my finger, and the contraction and baby monitors tightly fitted around my waist.  I felt so claustrophobic and just stared out the window crying.  I already have anxiety issues and this situation has definitely made it worse.

So much has happened in the past  days which I will go back and write about later.  I'm just so tired right now and have to re-think the days but the bottom line is this.  I'm still pregnant and the goal is to keep it that way until 34 weeks. (we would be happy with 32 at this point though).  I'm on hospital bedrest until delivery.  Everyday is a new challenge filled with ups and downs.  I cry a lot and miss my family, fear for the safety of our little baby and pray we can hold off on delivery as long as possible.  I will have to have a C section due to her being breech.  Since there is little fluid she will be unable to turn for a vaginal delivery.  Today I am 29 weeks 2 days.  Everyday I stay pregnant is a blessing.

After many months of debating my husband and I finally decided on a name.

 Livie Marie

We feel it is fitting because it means Aliveness- the condition of living or state of being alive.

"where there is life, there is hope."

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

26 Weeks!

Sorry I know I have been MIA for a while.  It's been a long 6 weeks but right now I don't really feel like getting into it.  A few updates:

I switched to a High Risk OB and they are watching me very closely.  Love Them!  I just wasn't happy with my regular OB.  I felt like an after thought and that he was too concerned with vaginal rejuvenation consults than pregnant women and delivering babies. 

3 weeks ago we went for a level 2 ultrasound and baby girl was measuring small and my amniotic fluid was a little low. That freaked me out of course but the docs aren't concerned with her growth because she is still in the 30th percentile. It was hard to get a good read on her measurements because her feet were all the way up at her head.  They had me switch from side to side and she wouldn't change position.  (already a stubborn little one!  LOL)  She also likes to keep her right hand up at her face.  Her hand moves back and forth like she is waving at us which is pretty cute. 

I went for a fluid check the following week after downing tons of water and doing some laps in the pool and it was back up.  I am told that happens from time to time.   My next growth check is this Thursday. 

She sure is a mover! (especially at night)  It is so amazing to finally feel a baby moving in my belly. I've waited so long to experience it and I love it!  I can't wait for my husband and daughter to be able to actually see the movement on my stomach.

So 13 weeks left and counting.  This has been a pretty challenging pregnancy for me.  Without getting into details I have gotten really sick and been having some issues with dizziness which has been awful.  I've also had the usual pregnancy pains like the killer "Charlie Horses" in the middle of the night.  I'm trying to eat tons of bananas!  Went for a prenatal massage which was AMAZING!  I can't wait to go back again.  It's so nice to be able to lay on your stomach for a change since they have special tables with cutouts for your belly and boobs.  ha ha I think that is too funny but so needed!  Praying we have a good scan on Thursday and all looks good with little girl.

Here are some pics!
 25 weeks (pic taken 3/26/12)

Baby Girl 3/16/12 (profile of head and arms)