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Thursday, September 27, 2012

Dear Sweet Mom Who Feels She is Failing....

Love this!  I often feel exactly how this blogger is writing.  I almost cried when I read this. 

Here is the link to her blog in case you want to read other posts. 

dear sweet mom who feels like she is failing.

You're not.

If you and I were sitting in Starbucks and you had your fave drink and I had my Caramel Macchiato I'd look at you, and I'd tell you the truth - you're not failing.

I know. I'm guessing, you'd wipe away the tears, and look up, and try to nod your head, but inside, inside well, you'd think that those are nice words but seriously she has no idea. You know why I know? Because I've sat in a coffee shop, across from a friend, a friend who looked me smack in the face and told me that I wasn't failing and that I was doing a great job.
I wanted to tell her about the dishes from yesterday sitting on my counter. And how the pile of storybooks wasn't read again. And that I'm a week behind in laundry. And that I got really really irritated at the mixture of 13 toys all dumped in a pile that two days ago was sorted into 13 labeled boxes. I wondered if she knew that some days, some days I get up and just go through the mom motions without even really finding much joy. It felt like drudgery.

How could she tell me I wasn't failing?

Yet, I wasn't.

Somehow in the mixed up media world we've got these thoughts of moms being perfect. Society doesn't give us a break. I mean read this article in the New York Times about the pressure on moms to look a certain way after they give birth. And then? Then we're to be ultra creative, crafty, humorous, happy, chipper, up before dawn, to sleep after dark, with our sinks shined, and the laundry folded, and tomorrow's breakfast in the crockpot, with tomorrow's dinner - pulled from our once-a-month cooking thawing in the fridge, while we work out for 20 minutes on odd days and 40 minutes on even days, and our hair is always done, we're makeup ready, our fridges are stocked, and the craft closet bursting with ideas for that quick perfect afternoon art project that we'll place on our recycled wood and mod podged adorned hand painted chalkboard.

And, in reality, it's 8am and we're just getting up. The baby was up all night, or the toddler sick, or honestly, we were just tired. We get our coffee and flip on facebook and our stream is flooded with stuff people have already done {I always tell myself -- different time zones} and we're racing to catch up with this never before except for the last hundred years perfect never feel like you're failing mom ideal that is exhausting.

You know what my friend told me? She told me to slow down. Slow down? How in the world when I felt like I was failing was I to slow down? I had way way way too much to do and I needed to read that parenting book to work on my attitude and and and...and. And she told me enough. And that I was a good mom.

You know, you're not failing.

You need to start to see all you do accomplish in a day. All the smiles of encouragement, meals made, clothes changed, books read, and more. Just like I wrote yesterday - we make mistakes {ten things moms need to remember} - we just need to learn from them. We're out of breath, racing, and exhausted, but truly not failing. Failing means stopping. Not getting up, not trying, not giving. That's not you.

I want you to stop telling yourself you're failing. Instead I want you to replace it with I can do this.

You can do this.

Those soundtrack words and feeling about failing are just feelings. Don't let them define you anymore. If you hear I'm failing replace it immediately with I can do this.

If you were across the table from me that is what I would tell you.

And, of course, I'd tell you do one thing. I'm going to write and say it again and again and again. Write your list of things you want to do, need to do, and would love to do today with your family. And then, do one thing from each list. If you stumble, brush yourself off, and start again. Don't worry that the neighbor across the street seems to be doing twenty or the pinterest pin tells you that the perfect home can be achieved in 6 Easy Steps. This is your life - and you - you are the perfect mother for those children. God knew when he blessed those kids to you.

Remember that.

You are a good mom. You matter. You are making a difference.

You can do this. One step, one day, at a time.

From me, one mom in the midst of motherhood, to you.

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Sunday, September 23, 2012

Awesome old episode of Rosanne

Awesome old episode of Rosanne

The Miracle
When Darlene gives birth to a very premature baby, the doctors offer very little hope for the child's survival. But Roseanne sets out to prove that love, affection and human contact are better than any medicine.

Friday, September 14, 2012

Last Official Day as a Stay at Home Mommy :(

I'm really sad because today is my last day as a stay at home mama. I start my new job on Monday. I was just starting to get used to this stay at home mom gig. But it will be good for me to get out and work in an office. I don't take enough time for myself. I'm always giving 100% to my family so maybe going back into an office will allow me a little break from everything. I feel guilty leaving Livie though. K didn't go to daycare until 10 months old. My dad will watch Livie 3 days a week and she will go to a daycare the other 2 days. I searched a ton of places and found one that allows me to see her online any time I want. They have 2 cameras in each classroom. The head teacher has been working the infant room in that location for 11 years. Praying everything goes well Monday.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Livie's Shadow Box

Livie's Shadow Box

 I made a shadow box for Livie today. In it is her micro preemie pacifer, her umbillical cord clip, her preemie hate, and her micro preemie diaper. I can't believe they make diapers that small!  She was 2 pounds 4 oz when she arrived on the 29th of April 2012.
 Livie Marie on 9/12/12
Me and my girls: Livie and Kayla

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Taylor Swift New Single 'Ronan' Stand Up To Cancer 2012 Performance HD

Taylor Swift's new amazing song

Makes me want to hold my little ones a little tighter today. Amazing but sad song Taylor Swift wrote about a 4 year old boy who passed away from Cancer last year after reading his mother's blog. :'(