Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
I hope that the dream was a sign. It all felt so real. Hopefully it was a premonition.
I came across this e-book about helping people carry to term and have healthy babies called Pregnancy Miracle. It was only $39 and my hubby said I could order it. It's a holistic approach combined with TCM. I figure I will read it and see if it works. The most I will lose is $39 which in the grand scheme of things is nothing compared to what I have been paying for the past 4 1/2 years. Seems like a pretty small risk. If my year long break and acupuncture don't work I at least have this to fall back on.
So many things are going on in my life these days. Last week I received a call from my boss that I was getting a raise. Today we found out we have a cash offer on our home that is for sale, and my hubby was just offered promotion with another department within his company. So things are looking up. I pray they continue to go this way! I almost feel like I am jinxing it by writing this out. I'm so superstitious!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
That question? What are my chances that this is going to work?
He said my chances are very good and gave me a 70% chance of carrying to term with my own eggs if I follow his instructions and do exactly what he says. That means taking my herbs religiously 3x a day everyday and attending weekly acupuncture appointments. It also means eating shellfish, minimizing my caffeine, alcohol and spicy food intake. While this is great news and a better prognosis than western medicine has given me of carrying to term with my own eggs he also said that this is my last chance. If this doesn't work he will not be able to help me. I left the office feeling very hopeful but also nervous. Is this really my last chance? I'm only 30 years old! How could I be running out of time to carry a pregnancy successfully and give birth?
I hate that I'm only 30 years old but feel so much older than that due to my fertility issues. It makes me feel ancient! Like I should have started trying for a baby earlier. I started trying when I was 26! I thought that was early enough. I just wish I could be like every other 30 year old woman out there who wants to continue to grow her family. Still I am holding on to that glimmer of hope I have inside me that this will work. Time to go take some more herbs! LOL
A year ago today we met our birth mom and our beautiful daughter Kayla in Reno, NV. That morning I woke up nervous and excited. I hadn't slept all that much the night before in anticipation of this day. So many things filled my mind. Will our birth mom show up when we arrive to pick her up for our appointment? Will she go through with it or change her mind? Will today be the day I am finally a mommy?
We arrived at Patty's sister's apartment in Sparks, NV to pick her and the baby up. I called her from the car to let her know we were outside waiting. She walked up carrying a beautiful baby girl in her arms with brown hair and hazel eyes. Instantly our hearts melted. Patty handed me the 2 1/2 month old baby girl and we loaded her into the car seat. I don't remember the small talk we had on the way to the social worker's office but I know I tried to keep it light and cheerful. I could only imagine what Patty must have been going through that morning. What was our most joyous and proud day was probably the hardest day of her life. We arrived at the office and met with our social worker Meg.
Meg asked if we wanted to chat for a while and get to know one another but Patty, our birth mom, wanted to get on with the signing of the paperwork. They took her into another room while my husband and I waited with Kayla in the office. I held Kayla as she fell asleep in my arms. I wanted to start snapping pictures right away of our beautiful daughter but at the same time we were very fearful that Patty would return with documents unsigned and say she had changed her mind. In fact I don't think we even took a single picture of Kayla until after we dropped Patty back off at her sister's apartment and headed to Walmart to get more baby supplies. (We hadn't bought much because we were so afraid we would come home empty handed). The whole experience was surreal. I felt like I was watching a Lifetime movie waiting for the story to take a tragic turn where the bottom falls out and the whole thing collapses in front of us. Too many times did we have the rug ripped out from underneath us with our 5 previous pregnancies. Why should this time be any different?
But it was! Patty and our social worker Meg reappeared with signed papers in hand. Our birth mom sat down next to me and stroked Kayla's hair as she lay sleeping in my arms. I felt joy but also sadness for our birth mom. What a brave woman she was that day. There were tears and hugs shared among all of us. We dropped Patty off at her sister's apartment and headed to grab something to eat and share the good news with our family and friends.
I remember calling our family and friends to tell them the news. WE WERE FINALLY PARENTS! We had waited years to announce this kind of news. The morning of July 6th 2009 is a day I will never forget. It was the day my dream of becoming a mommy finally came true and was truly the happiest day of my life.