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Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Week 8 of Viral Protocol and Feeling Down

More and more pregnancy annoucements coming my way.  Super happy for everyone but man I am so ready to start trying again.  My follow up appointment to go over the results of my latest bloodwork is next Monday.  I wish it was tomorrow so I could get my bee stings and we could try this month.  I know I have to be patient but I am so tired of waiting. 

My mom gave me a People Magazine yesterday and I accidently turned to the Due Date page.  So many celebs are pregnant!  Remind me to stay off of Facebook and stay away from the magazines.  LOL  There was one happy story in there.  Martha Stewart's daughter finally was successful and gave birth after 5 years of infertilty. 

I often wonder what is worse.  Not being able to get pregnant at all or getting pregnant and losing them over and over again.  Guess I'm also feeling down because my husband's grandmother died on Sunday.  She is going to be buried next to his grandfather which is where we had our own personal funeral for baby number 3 back in 2007.  We saw our son Devon's heatbeat at 7 1/2 weeks and by 11 weeks he was gone.  We went to the grave site and buried the ultrasound picture of Devon in a little box.  I wonder if that will get dug up when they go to put his grandmother beside his grandfather this Friday.

So many things on my mind.  I did workout today but I can't stop napping during the day.  I just get so tired of staring at a computer all day long.  I'm 31 years old and I just feel lost.  I don't know why.  Guess I'm just exhausted and tired of this whole rollercoaster ride but I can't get off. I need to complete this journey successfully.  I try so hard in everything I do and I over think everything.  That's probably why I am so tired.  Like Dori says in Finding Nemo "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimmming swimming."

1 comment:

  1. thinking and praying for you!!
    i wanted to share a close family friend's blog with you
    take care,