Ugh! Pregnancy Pregnancy Everywhere!

Ugh!  Pregnancy Pregnancy Everywhere!  One of Kayla's teachers announced she is expecting today.  I had a feeling she was pregnant because she was kind of starting to show but I couldn't be sure if it was  the beginning of a baby belly or what.  I told her congratulations and went on my way.  Then as I was walking out of the daycare what do I see?  A very pregnant woman dropping her toddler off.  Everywhere i turn I swear they are there!  LOL 

I need to get over this.  I'm tired of my pity parties!  There will always be pregnant women everywhere I go.  Maybe I should just force myself to be around them for an entire week straight.  Maybe then I won't feel this huge pit in my stomach when I see them.  I wish pregnancy wasn't such a negative experience for me.  I always thought I would love being pregnant but now it feels like a slap in the face every time I cross a pregnant woman's path.  I hate feeling this way.  I want to be excited and happy for them but it's so hard when I have lost 8 pregnancies and have never had a positive outcome.

Today is CD 2 (Cycle Day 2).   Let the countdown to the surge and HCG trigger shot begin.......

False Postive! Back to Trying Again this month!

I am soooo relieved!!!  I did have a false positive from the trigger shot.  My blood test was negative so we can resume trying this next cycle.  I don't think I have ever been so happy to get a negative in my life!  I just didn't want to have to keep going back for blood draws and have to deal with the emotional roller coaster all week.  I didn't want to find out that this was another chemical pregnancy and all the treatments we have done were a waste.

This whole thing really did make me think about what about lies head.  Am I ready for another pregnancy?  I don't know.  I do have a new restored sense of hope that maybe..... just maybe.... the viral protocol and bee sting will work next time around.  I am NEVER testing early like I did yesterday.   Not even 1 day before my blood draw.  I totally sent myself into panic and depression mode for about 24 hours.

Back to tracking this cycle, hoping, and praying. 

Longest 2WW Ever!

Ugh this is the longest 2WW (2 week wait) ever!  That's because it isn't two weeks, it's actually almost a 3 week wait because I did the trigger shot on the day of the surge and then a booster HCG 8 days later. If this were a normal cycle today would be test day but I can't test because I could get a false positive due to the second HCG of 5K I administered last Wed.  I am supposed to get blood work on Sun but of course the labs aren't open on Sundays so it will have to wait until Monday. :( 

This past weekend was horrible.  I had really bad nausea Friday and Saturday and even threw up a couple of times.  I can't count this as pregnancy symptoms though because the HCG trigger shot could totally be causing these kind of side effects.  I am still getting nausea off and on and have really bad indigestion.  If these symptoms begin to disappear as the week progresses then I know it is a BFN (Big Fat Negative). 

What an emotional roller coaster I have been on this cycle.  I want to remain so hopeful but at the same time I don't want to set myself up for disappointment either.  Guess I will just have to wait it out and try to relax.  (easier said then done that's for sure!)   Praying for a BFP! (Big Fat Positive)