Week Number 7 of Viral Protocol and Frustration and Tears

Ugh I'm so annoyed and frustrated!! Apparently over the course of 6 weeks I was supposed to go for weekly blood draws bc I'm on heparin so they could adjust it as needed. It didn't say that on the paper anything about those labs. They said it isn't a big deal but it is to me! I wanted to do the 100% correct. My only saving grace is that I'm not trying to sustain a pregnancy at this exact moment. I went back and looked at the paperwork and all it said was SQ next to the word Heparin. (Meaning Sonora Quest) I'm not a fricking code reader! Sorry to vent. I called DH and he blew me off. I think I'm just emotional. I'm just so ready to be done with this. I just want to cry right now and scream WHY CANT I JUST BE A NORMAL PREGNANT WOMAN??? You know, sometimes I pretend I am. Especially when talking to people that don't know my history or that K is adopted.


I go again today to get my PPT (the heparin blood draw) which has to be taken 6 hours after my first injections.  I'm so tired of all of the rules, the pills, the wishing, the hoping, the praying. I just want this to be easy.  It's been 5 1/2 years and 8 pregnancies and I still haven't carried to term.  WTF???? 

I just feel so alone.  I'm starting to feel defeated.  What if all of my heard work just isn't enough?  I just want to cry right now.  My stomach is so bruised and bloated I feel like a whale. I would be excited if there was a baby in there but right now it's just that way because of the injections.  Please somebody tell me this is going to work!!!

Week 6 of Viral Protocol

Last Day of Week 6-Viral Protocol

Guess it's been a while since I have written.  Just been doing the same old thing.  Taking the pills, doing the heparin injections, working out, trying to get sleep.  Today I go for my 4pm blood draw and then call the doc office to go over the results to see if the protocol is working.  After that I will know when I go for my bee stings and when we can officially start trying.  The full protocol is supposed to last 7 weeks so hopefully I can stop most of the meds soon.  I'm so tired of popping pills.  It's about 15 pills each morning and every night but once again, if it means I carry to term and give birth to a healthy baby then I am willing to go through it.  Wish I could see into the future.  Kind of over whelmed with work right now so I don't feel much like writing but hopefully I will have good news to write about next week. 

Week 4 of Viral Protocol

Week 4 of the Viral Protocol.  I'm so tired of the pills and the shots but I know that if  (correction) WHEN this works it will all be worth it.  The bruises are starting to get really bad and hurt but I have to keep pushing forward and keep going.  Once we hit week 6 I will go in for more blood work to see if my DOC has improved. (not really sure what that is.  What I do know is that if it has improved I should have a better chance carrying a pregnancy to term once I am pregnant again) 

I believe this whole protocol thing is helping.  Last week I went to the gym every single day and did laps in the pool.  It was funny, as I was completing my workout I heard my alarm go off on my phone which I would usually use to wake up from my nap!

I'm dragging a little today but I still plan on heading back to the gym to get a workout in.  I have attached the latest pic of my belly.  I really wish these were baby belly pregnancy pics :(  Hopefully we can start trying again in July.   Guess my heparin belly pics will have to do for now.