I've been feeling really depressed lately. Maybe it is my 7th loss on 5-5-10, or that everyone who was pregnant the same time I was had their babies this month when I was pregnant with number 6.(the 2nd pregnancy we lost after seeing the heartbeat in Oct 2009). Maybe it is because some of my friends are pregnant or because a friend of mine just had a miscarriage. Maybe it is a combination of all of these. I don't know.
Anyways, a friend of mine sent me this book titled "The Empty Picture Frame" by Jenna Currier Nadeau. I have had it sitting at my desk since it arrived a couple of weeks ago and just haven't felt up to reading it. Today I decided to open it up and read the Preface. It was a very good read but I found myself getting very emotional. I don't think I am ready to sit down and read it yet. I have a feeling it is going to open up old wounds that I'm not ready to feel again yet. The good news is that while the story itself doesn't have a happy ending after the book was published the author did fulfill her dream of having a family. She has 1 child through adoption and carried 1 child to term and gave birth. So that does give me hope.
I guess right now I am just a big mixed ball of emotions. I'm exhausted with this multiple miscarriage journey and the constant fight to carry a pregnancy to term. Still I am heading to acupuncture again tomorrow to try put my body back into balance. I guess I'm still willing to give it another try once I am given the "green light" from my acupuncturist which will probably be in about 2-3 months. I need to take advantage of this break and enjoy not having to stress about TTC. (trying to conceive). If you would like to learn more about this book below is the link to Amazon.com
About the Author
Jenna and Mike Nadeau have struggled with infertility since shortly after they were married in 2002. Jenna is a current volunteer for RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. She has appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show as well as The Today Show to discuss their experiences. Together, Jenna and her husband have written The Empty Picture Frame as a way to share their journey and educate others.