Feeling down right now.

I tried posting this early this morning but it wouldn't post for some reason:Feeling down right now. It's 1:41am and I went to the bathroom tonight and noticed a brown tinge color on the toilet paper. I can’t sleep. Maybe I should be using the other progesterone and not the OTC one. Ugh. I’m so tired of this. I just want to cry right now. I really need to stop getting my hopes up about this one. I know brown means old blood but I’ve been here before. I just want to throw up. I just want to be a normal pregnant woman. I want to be pregnant and know 9 months later I will be giving birth to a baby. Why won't my body do this? I will hear about my 2nd blood draw tomorrow. I know there is nothing I can do but wait.


UPDATE (1:37pm 5-5-10)
Still waiting to hear about my second blood draw from the doc. I had a very sleepless night and a morning full of tears and crying. I know I always said I would keep trying until one sticks but I just don't know how much more I can take. Still feeling mild cramping and lower back pain. I just want to know where I stand. I've called the nurses line 3 times and left messages. This is so frustrating!