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Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Will I Ever Stop Checking the Toilet Paper???

I really thought that once I hit the 2nd Trimester I would be able to calm down a bit but my anxiety is still through the roof.  Yesterday I was very emotional.  Crying off and on all day because fear was getting the best of me. I still check the toilet paper every single time I use the restroom.

I worry about EVERYTHING!  From what I eat, to what I drink, to what I put on my skin.  I have even thrown away a perfectly good meal because I googled and found something in it not recommended for pregnant women.  I know I need to relax but it's hard. I just want everything to go right. 

It's amazing to me that when my mom was pregnant they didn't know 1/2 of what they know now and somehow my brother and I made it to this earth.  Maybe we know too much information nowadays?  I mean back in the cave man days there was no such thing as pasteurized dairy products or over the counter supplements to help nourish baby and mother.  They didn't have ultrasound machines or Doppler's but humankind managed to continue and evolve.

I sometimes feel so alone.  Working from home is a great thing but it is also challenging because it leaves me a lot of time to think and over think all by myself. If I were in an office I would have others to converse with on a daily basis and things to keep my mind busy.  I've decided I really need to find a hobby.  The time is passing by so slowly and rather than sit around and watch TV, when I'm not working from home, I need a distraction.

On the positive side my bronchitis/seasonal asthma is finally getting better.  I had debated on whether or not to take antibiotics.  I'm so glad I didn't because the inhaler seems to be working.   I've been trying to take the least amount of meds possible during this pregnancy and I prefer the inhaler over the pills because the medicine goes straight to the lungs and only a tiny amount of it goes into the bloodstream. 

Ugh so many stresses but I know this will all be worth it.  I've wanted this for so long and it's about time I started enjoying it. 

Now my mission is to stay as hydrated, get plenty of sleep, and get some low impact exercise so I can stay healthy. 


  1. Hands in the air!!! I've been so distracted with all of the ginormous changes going on in my own life that I've been pretty blind to anything and everything outside of Self. But now I'm getting centered again and am trying to go back to what all I've missed. I'm SO excited to hear your news. I've been praying for you and I'm definitely gonna keep the positive energy flowing your way. SO UTTERLY EXCITING!!!
    Plus, I know what you mean about overthinking things. After 2 1/2 yrs to get pregnant, my coworkers made fun of me when I didn't eat lunch meat, soft cheeses, etc. I *get* that it seemed like I was going overboard, but I'd been waiting for so long for the blessing of my little one that it was worth it to give up other things to ensure his safety as much as I could. That said, if I were to do it again, I'd totally do some things differently (just like every situation in life).
    P.S. You're in the second trimester. That means you're about to be able to find out the sex of your baby. Most.exciting.time.ever!!!

  2. Lisa, if it makes you feel any better, I had two perfectly normal pregnancies and still worried about all that you mentioned above, including checking the toilet paper EVERY TIME. I made myself throw up once because I ate a sandwich that MIGHT have had soft cheese on it. The only thing that kept me from being a total nervous wreck is telling myself that being stressed couldn't be good for the baby either. Take lots of deep breaths and enjoy the ride (easier said than done, but thought I'd throw it out there)! And like Kiersten said, you get to find out the sex of the baby soon. So fun!!!!

  3. Thanks girls for the encouraging words :) Hanging in there. One day at a time.